I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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