It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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