oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize