I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
