Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Shitshow foam night was such a success
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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