i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
