You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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