you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
