Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Buhtt sex?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
