you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
