All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
