Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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