Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
