I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
