I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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