You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
