I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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