I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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