There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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