I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
