You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
