i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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