ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
