Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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