Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My vagina just recognized that song.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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