no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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