she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
