Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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