I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
