Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
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Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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