i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The power of my boobs compel you
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
