She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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