Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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