Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My vagina is very pro this idea
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
