Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
