U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
