I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
