We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
