Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize