If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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