Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
