Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
