Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Two words: blizzard sex
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
