There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
