I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
