Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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