I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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