well you can't waste a boner
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
