I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
They should really pass out barf bags in church
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
