would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen