Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.