Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
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You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
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He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I pour the whiskey from now on
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?