just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.