Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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