We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.