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• (330): View more from Ohio

  and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (347): View more from New York

  These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.

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• (607): View more from New York

  The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (585): View more from New York

  You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??

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