and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??