Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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