Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
