He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
