Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
