Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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