it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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