***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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