I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
