ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
A+ Viking dick
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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