So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
