If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
