Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize